OMG! I am so sick of hearing about the Olympics!  So like what’s the big deal anyways?  I heard they’re in China and all but I guess I don’t really get the excitement.  Although friend says they have some of the best Chinese food on the planet.  It’s like “oh wow, you ran really fast!”  I feel like mass of the Olympic sports aren’t even fun.  Long Jumping?  Javelining?  Fencinging?  Those are so lame.  Like, NO THANKS!  They should make the Olympics about sports and stuff that we all like to do.  

My friend is like the fastest ever on finding suff on the internet.  One time I was like “I wish I could find a decent spa to get a  vichy detox wrap at” and he was like “I’ll google it.”  In like 10 seconds he found a spa that was like perfect.  He can always find stuff online super fast.  I told him that he’s “the fastest googler on the planet.”  I bet he is.  That would be a fun Olympic sport to watch.  I also have a girlfriend who can fall alseep in like 30 seconds.  Even at a loud nightclub.  They should have a competition where people are hooked up to like electro machines that can tell who falls asleep the fastest.  It would be so cool because you would be like super lazy and an athlete at the same time.

I also think that the sports should be more like the stuff we grew up learning. Soak em, freeze tag, scarf juggling and stuff like that.  Maybe even dress up games.  It could be fun to have like all the countries compete it best dress up.  Americans could have like flowing dresses and stuff and other countries like South Africa, such as, could wear like other stuff that they think is pretty.

I’m just saying that all of this hype around the Olympics is sorta annoying because even my magazines are wasting time talking about the athletes and not what Brangelina’s nursery looks like.  I can celebrate best barista in the world or even like the hottest hand bag designer but Taekwondoing eachother is like lame.

The Beijing 2008 Olympic ceremony preparation kicked off today with the torch being lit in Olympia, Greece.  Coming in August all of the summer competitions will begin.  Being that I haven’t played in a sport since last summer’s bean bag competition (unless you count darts at the bar a sport), I sit at a computer all day, and basically get tired when I speed walk - then run two minutes - then walk again, I really have no excuse for making fun of Olympic blunders of the past, so I won’t.  But - what I CAN do is make fun of idiots that do stupid stunts and then put them up on the internet, or, athletic bloopers in general.  Sometimes you have to laugh at the stupidity or unluckiness and other times, it is down right painful to watch.  Some of these people had to have lost their ability to reproduce (which may be debatable whether that’s a bad thing). 

• The 8 Biggest Idiots of the World - It’s all worth it for #5 and #8
• Funny Bloopers - not all Olympic sports - but pretty funny stuff (check out the soccer dive!)
• Funny Sport Bloopers - by the clothing these look like oldies, but goodies
• Why I didn’t make the Olympics - I promise, you will cringe through the entire video
• Running’s Greatest Bloopers - the Running Times true stories of running woes