I nearly lost my teeth laughing at this week’s winning joke, “Breakfast at the White House,” as told by Skez63. Ironically, I don’t even wear dentures. I laughed that hard. Once again Skez63 is the big man on campus and will live out another week knowing that he is the best. He’s the kind of guy I would want to take the Sadie Hawkins dance. There’s a saying “make a woman laugh and you’re halfway in to her heart.” I would like to add “if you make a woman laugh so hard she pee’s a little…well…then she’s marriage material.”

Skez63 seems to be a genuine charmer and he’s clearly in the running for Comic Wonder of the Year. In addition to the cash and other prizes, I’m in discussion with the Comic Wonder International Prize Patrol to possibly include an assortment of things from my basement. I’ve got tons of old shoes that the kids hardly ever wore and a great deal of old vases that I don’t have much use for. I’ll work on my prize pack and all of you continue working on your jokes.

With the elections approaching I think it’s a good time to follow Skez63’s lead and try to find the best political jokes you can find. I haven’t voted since Herbert Hoover (1929-33) but I try to keep up on the names. I think that Borat fella has a pretty good chance. So find your best jokes about politics and do your country a great service by sharing them with all of us. The Comic Wonder International Militia is currently signing a petition to impose a joke telling draft. We hate for it to come to that but these tough times and we can’t let the humorless win. Do it for all of the great comics who have made us laugh over the years - Jacky Benny, Red Skelton, George Carlin and Carrot Top. It’s your doodie. And your duty.

Posted by:

Brandy Chuggin
Comic Wonder Regional VP of Senior Humor Relations & Author of “Crochet: The cognitive revolution and historical perspective!”

Comic Wonder, together with McVay Media and the National Association of Broadcasters (NAB), is searching for the funniest personality on the planet. If you’re trying to get noticed in the radio industry this contest is for you!

The process is easy - if you’re a radio personality and you think you’re funny - simply visit www.radioscomicwonder.com before August 31, 2008 and tell your best joke. Visitors to the site vote on who they deem radio’s funniest.

“The best radio shows are the ones that make people laugh,” notes Daniel Anstandig, President of McVay New Media. “Finding and identifying top radio talent continues to be a top priority. We believe that this contest can help some great talent get the attention they deserve.”

Comic Wonder will announce the winner at the NAB Radio Show in Austin, Texas on September 18th where a spotlight video of the winner’s radio background and comedic talent will be featured to a room of radio executives and fellow radio personalities. Beyond recognition, Radio’s Comic Wonder will walk away with:

• A giant, mantle worthy trophy
• $1,000 cold, hard cash
• Airfare and accomodations to the NAB Radio Show

Visit www.radioscomicwonder.com to begin!

I’m taking a break from working out to award “benroach90” as the Comic Wonder of the Week. His joke “MD Penis Theft” was a hit at the gym where I work out. 7 days a week.

In addition to the cash prize and fame that comes with being this week’s winner, Benro (I don’t have time to write out his full name - although I realize that typing out this disclaimer probably took up more time) is also in the running to become Comic Wonder of the Year! Think of the fame that comes with a title like that!

It’s like when I won the Southern Regional Intermediate Peck Deck Power lifting title at Shrugfest 97′. I couldn’t walk into a supplement store without some tight shirted employee falling all over themselves to get my technique tips. I haven’t paid for my stretch mark body butter ever since. Just helping you to understand what winning the Comic Wonder title could be like.

Keep the jokes coming and remember to stay hydrated. I don’t want any of you cramping up during a punch line.

Hughe Mongis
Comic Wonder Fitness Consultant & author of “The spiritual guide to effective bar bouncing.”

This week’s The New Yorker magazine cover depicting Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle, has caused quite the stir. Regardless of your stance on the satirical cartoon, the question has been raised…are there any good jokes out there about Barack Obama that we can all deem funny?

Today’s New York Times article by Bill Carter posed reasons why we’re not making fun of the Democratic presidential nominee, “The reason cited by most of those involved in the shows [late night talk shows] is that a fundamental factor is so far missing in Mr. Obama: There is no comedic “take” on him, nothing easy to turn to for an easy laugh, like allegations of Bill Clinton’s womanizing, or President Bush’s goofy bumbling or Al Gore’s robotic persona.”

And, of course, there are jokes about John McCain, which are about as old as his age.

So, we know why. The question remains what are we going to do about this lack of Obama humor?

Comic Wonder would like to challenge you to perform your best Obama joke on our site. It is the perfect forum to try out your Obama jokes and see how they land. If our audience doesn’t like them - they will tell you!

Who knows, perhaps Obama will jump online and tell a joke about himself - thus, not only proving his sense of humor, but beating all the timid comedians to the punch.

Comic Wonder crossed the pond!

Jeff Fitzsimmons, the Co-founder and Creative Director of Comic Wonder, along with Captainhilariousness, the 2007 Comic Wonder of the Year winner, joined the UK radio giant Graham Mack for a little chat and a lot of laughs.

Check it out under the July 9th “Mack Nuggets” or click here to have a listen. The interview is about 7 minutes into the audio, but it’s funny material while you wait - guaranteed!

I’ve got a 2 dollar bill and some Seltzer for this week’s winner named “Skez63.” The names that parents are giving kids these days really sour my soup. What happened to respectable names like Abel and Marvin?

Anywho, I guess you all enjoyed Skez63’s rendition of “Foreskins and Matzo Balls.” I never cared much for jokes and boners but I’m contractually obligated to help hand out these awards from time to time nonetheless. And besides, my Doctor says the typing helps with my circulation.

My late husband (rest his soul) would have been so proud to know that his efforts in The Good War helped to pave the way for us to be able to award someone for making a joke with “foreskin” in the title. Gives me goosebumps.

So good job Mr Skez63! Drink responsibly and just say no!

They want me to remind you about the many new features on the Comic Wonder and to promote my new blog but Golden Girls is starting and the cream of celery is boiling. Good luck next week competitors and do us all a favor and turn down your nonsense music. It’s meant to be heard…not felt. The nurse isn’t here to show me how to shut down this intermail stuff so I’ll just stop typing and walk away. Never cared much for electricity doohickies anyhow.

XOXO

~ Brandy Chuggin
Comic Wonder Regional VP of Senior Humor Relations & Author of “Crochet: A Historical Perspective of The Cognitive Revolution.

Now you can find out! The team at Comic Wonder Towers has added a new feature to the Web site to allow members to find out once and for all how their sense of humor rates in comparison to others! Introducing the Sense of Humor (SOH) score. Now you and your friends no longer have to argue about who the funnier person is because the numbers don’t lie!

If a person has a high Sense of Humor (SOH) score, it is because that person is funny, or that person can recognize funny. There is a complex, patented formula developed by a global consortium of really funny mathematicians, psychologists and law enforcement officials that determines the actual scores. But - all you really need to know is that it works!

Click here to learn more and get started in the process of finding out exactly how much better your sense of humor is than everyone else!

By now I’m sure everyone has heard of wikiHow - I love it. Yesterday I learned how to make an origami samurai helmet and tomorrow, who knows!

If you’ve been hanging under a rock - here’s what it is: wikiHow is a collaborative writing project to build the largest, highest quality how-to manual.

Today, I stumbled on How to Make Chuck Norris Jokes - ummmm….sweet! Here’s a little blurb on what you’re getting into with this, “Have you ever heard a Chuck Norris joke? If you have, you shouldn’t have. They are simply facts, nothing more. Chuck Norris has the power to kick your butt into not next week, but the next life. Remember that. With this article, you will learn how to express Chuck’s awesomeness.”

Here’s a great tip from the article:

Chuck Norris is ultimate. Never forget it. Here’s a common joke.

• One day Chuck Norris visited Virgin Island. Now it’s just an island.

Golf season is finally upon us and the Comic Wonder members are getting in the spirit by signing in and telling their favorite golf jokes. I put together a list of my favorites - if you’re a golfer, I think you will definitely get a kick out of these:

• A woman gets stung while golfing by Tommyboy
• The barn and the ball by grandpa bob
• Perfect golf by wellsy
• FORE!!!!!!!! by sideshow1331
• A hole in one by captainhilariousness 
• Slow golfers by Adubya
• Par for the course by sideshow1331
• Long golf game by RareBlueMonkey
• A Rabbi, a Priest and a Minister by trouth2o
• Golf with the boss by Adubya 
• Jeff and Mike are golfing by RareBlueMonkey

Here’s something that happened to me at Borders that I found so odd, and yet so funny. I was shopping for a gift for my nephew when a guy came up out of no where and started talking to me. He began the conversation by asking where the music section was - it being late and my not being in the mood, I told him I didn’t work there and no, I didn’t know. Although, I’m pretty nice so it probably came out in a high, soft, sweet tone. He said he knew that I didn’t work there and there was a long…awkward pause while I waited to see why he wasn’t leaving.

He then went on to ask me questions & talk about things clearly in line for the “I’m going to ask you out” moment. Such things as: what music do you like? Where do you go out? Why do you keep your curtains closed at night? Ok, not the last one. Mind you, I’m sitting way back in the corner of the store (I don’t even know how he found me) in the children’s section next to two very little girls, drinking coffee and clearly trying to display my wedding ring…waiting for him to notice. No such luck. It happens - he asks, “If I were a puppy, would you keep me?” Actually no, what he said was, “I’ve heard sex is a killer, wanna die happy?” Ok, not that one either. Anyway, he finally does ask if I would like to go out with him and I tell him no, I’m married.

His response, “well, would you go out with me if you weren’t?” What?! Seriously?! Yes, our .5 second conversation was so stimulating that I would definitely have gone out with you, heck, had I only met you before my husband, who knows? What?! I still find it hilarious, he really wanted to know my answer and continued to ask me more questions after I gave no response and stood there in shock & awe. Luckily, my phone rang and this strange person that found me went running - yes, running away. It was all very Napoleon Dynamite revisited now that I look back.

I guess the moral of my little story is that it’s great to have the confidence and gusto to ask someone out, but - you may want to have talked to him/her for I don’t know - a minute - before doing so (with some interest coming back from the other side beyond a blank, scared stare), or it’s just creepy and you leave the person feeling dirty and watched. yikes.

Had he used one of these pick-up lines, things might have worked for him:

• Baby, I’m like Taco Bell - I’ll spice up your night
• You have an onion butt - it makes me want to cry
• If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print
• I’m not really this tall, I’m sitting on my wallet
• If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together
• I’m just a love pirate looking for some booty
• Oh…you’re lookin’ fine. Not in the good way, in the “you’ll do” way

If only…