As is the case every year - people are scrambling to get their taxes in by tomorrow. Either people are laughing all the way to the bank - or not. If you are a regular reader, you know I’m heading to Vegas, so this tax season was good to me and hopefully will only get bigger and better in Vegas!

It’s said that people who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women. Therefore my friends, if this was not your year, you are not alone.

So, if you need a laugh tomorrow - check out Comic Wonder. Below is my favorite text tax joke; for more great jokes go to our joke limbo– a location where you can save the text jokes that lay dormant and tell them with your own witty tone, accent, or inflection. Truly make them your own and compete to be our contest winner!

Here goes:

“A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet: The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time but nobody could do it.

One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice, ‘I’d like to try the bet.’ After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. The crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man, ‘What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?’ The man replied, ‘no, I work for the IRS.’”

Our late night comedians are also in on the tax time banter:

“President Bush says he’s going to simplify the tax code. Only the states that are blue will have to pay.” –-David Letterman

“President Bush said yesterday it doesn’t make any sense to raise taxes on the rich because rich people can figure out how to dodge taxes. Then Dick Cheney said ‘Shut up! You’re ruining everything.’” –Jay Leno