If you’re a frequenter of live comedy in Chicago, there’s a good chance you’ve seen Chris Witaske. He has performed at the famed Second City Theater and Io (formerly Improv Olympic), and he has written and performed in over ten shows at The Annoyance (owned by Second City comedy director Mick Napier).

After spending four months performing on a cruise ship for Second City, Witaske was recently summoned to the Comic Wonder Interview Headquarters to discuss improv versus joke-telling, the future of the punch line, and how to tell if you’re funny or just weird.

You’re an improv guy, but you tell jokes too, like “two whales”. What do you like about jokes?

I like that jokes are a lot more universal. One of the biggest pain-in-the-ass things about being an improviser is explaining to people what the hell it means to be an improviser. I often begrudgingly find myself comparing what I do to “Whose Line is it Anyway” just so my uncle gets the idea. It’s a hell of a lot easier just to tell him a joke.
Do you agree with Rolling Stone’s recent assessment that the punch line is dead? Does that mean the joke is dead?

I don’t think the joke is dead. Just last night five of my best friends and I stood around in a circle at a bar and told jokes. Jokes are best told in a circle.
Whenever I think of improv classes I think of Michael Scott in The Office pulling out a gun every time it’s his turn. As a teacher of improv, what are a few basics you give your students?

Make strong choices and don’t put so much importance on your improv shows. It’s very hard to relax and have fun on stage when you’re busy freaking yourself out about how important the show is.

Can anyone be funny, or are there some students who should steer clear of comedy?

General rule of thumb: if you’re over forty, single, still live with your parents and are taking an improv class you’re probably more weird then you are funny.

Chris Cashman is better known around these parts as “Captainhilarousness,” the first-ever, and reigning, Comic Wonder of the Year. Apart from his web celebrity, Cashman is somewhat of local star in Seattle where his voice and face have been gracing the rainy city’s TV and radio airwaves for years.

Since his big win on this site, Cashman has attained even larger levels of celebrity, getting interviewed by the Seattle P.I. and, of course, receiving the prized “Comic Wonder of the Year” t-shirt. The Comic Wonder blog recently talked to Chris about funny accents, his favorite jokes, and why he has an edge over all the amateurs out there.

1. How does it feel to be the reigning Comic Wonder of the year?

Tingly. It’s an odd thing to win a world wide competition. it’s even more so to win as an alias. I certainly know what Batman feels like. Or at least the Riddler. I walk amongst ordinary people who are totally unaware how hilarious…ness I am. It’s very cool. I need a cool utility belt.

2. Why do you like jokes so much?

I don’t consider myself a joke teller by nature. I am someone who LOVES comedy and pretty much spends my entire day looking for laughs in the world around me. That’s why the invention of the blog has been so nice. Finally an outlet for the obsurd realities that surround us. My joke-telling philosophy is simply to find something that strikes you as funny and commit totally to it. Know the material and be in the joke. Whether it’s funny voices or the timing and delivery, it’s all about how it’s told. It’s not the size of the joke, it’s the motion in the ocean. I might have that analogy wrong.

3. In your day job, you’re a radio and television personality and you do a lot of voicework. Does using your voice to make a living give you an advantage over other joke tellers?

Definitely. Would a guy who works at an engine show have the advantage in an oil change contest? It’s a part of who I am and it’s really just a part of my personality. It’s like guys who are obsessed with sports and know all the stats and whatnot. It’s just a part of their life and doesn’t seem like work to them. I live to ham it up so to me it’s like an outlet. With varying voltage.

4. You use a lot of different accents in your posted jokes. Do you consciously build up an arsenal of different “voices” you can use?

Yeah, I love to do voices. Not so much accents, as personalities that are familiar to many of us. The ditzy chick, the by the book receptionist, the old guy, the clueless guy, the wimp and so on.

5. Do you have any favorites in this year’s Comic Wonder contest?

Now that the site has more notoriety and familiarity to people the competition is stiff. It’s a good thing. I never thought for a minute about winning last year, I just had fun doing jokes in off moments. I hope that is how most of the people see it who are competing now. Just a fun outlet for laughs. Like American Idol season one. Honest performers who are in it for fun. And to meet Ryan Dunkleman.

6. What’s your favorite joke? Or, what’s a joke recorded by someone else that you really like on the site?

My favorite joke that comes to mind is “the magician.” It can be REALLY long or rather simple. I like the really long version. My dad told it to me in a really long format a couple years back and it really made me laugh. I did a listeners with limited time friendly version. I also really like a couple jokes that I finally got around to posting recently. “The Indian Doppler” and “Lawyers dead end call” are among my favs. Someone did the lawyer joke on Comic Wonder a while back and I liked the premise so much I changed it up and made it a character driven thing rather than story and punchline. The Indian Doppler joke is one of my favorites because I’ve always laughed at how ridiculous the TV weather people are. No accountability and they love to call it “my forecast” when it all comes from the same National Weather Center computers. It’s a great joke that hints at their amazing technology.

I’m proud to say that I’m a survivor.  I’ve seen a lot in my 86 years but yesterdays visit to Wallsave was a terrifying experience.  I live in an assisted thriving community now called the Eternityshire Estates.  Our shuttle takes residents in to the city twice a week.  I decided it was time to stock up on Dinty Moore beef stew and such so I packed my hip wallet with my money and meds. 

   When we arrived at our drop off I was a bit confused to see that my old trustee Pay-n-Prosper had been torn down and replaced with a new gigantic building called “Wallsave: Santa Fe”  Apparently it’s like the other Wallsaves around the country with a bit of Santa Fe flare.  I noticed the food court was painted like the desert.  Even the security fellow had an embroidered badge patch in the shape of a cactus.  It seemed like a pleasant enough store but the sheer size of it overwhelmed me a bit.  I wouldn’t have worn my nylon socks if I knew I would be doing this much walking.

    After wandering for a half hour or so I made it through the greeting area and headed for the sign marked “beauty care.”  I was in need of some cold cream and deodorant.  I have never been to reliant on perfumes or anti-perspirants in the past but our resident advisor issued a notice that all resident need to use scented under arm care products as of the first of the month.  I am on my 3rd notice so I decided that I would just buy something that smelled nice and be done with it. 

   The deodorant section wasn’t easy to find at first but a young many in a burnt amber vest directed me to a long isle that was as colorful as my favorite holiday sweater.  Every color imaginable and almost as many brand names.  I was alarmed to discover that all of them appeared to have different smells too.  I called over the young fella to help me out and that’s when the horror began. 

   He began to read of names like “Arctic Ice Crystal Blast, Powder Blast with Molten Lava Fusion Crystals, Titanium Clean Extreme Raw, Magma Fresh With AmourPiercing Floral Bullets, Mercury Scent Insanity 2, Scent Of Leather Berry With Almond Roca Gel, Atomic Blast Boquet and Original Scent”  Then he noticed they were out of original scent.  Although there was nearly 700 scents to choose from I was more intimidated by the idea that people had apparently evolved to become extremely stinky.   What happened to Powder?  Fresh? Clean?  Unscented?  They have all been transformed and blended with the forces of nature to become Frankendeodorants. 

   It seems to me that if our scientists spent half as much time on cures for disease as they do on new antiperspirants we would be living in a better world.  A healthier world.  One that already smells like fresh powder.  With normal scented people fusion.  At least that’s what I plan on telling my resident advisor.  I may have walked away without deodorant but I feel lucky have escapedwith my life and arm pits in tact.  Besides, I hate to break a 2 dollar bill on meaningless purchases like Ocean Burst Advanced with Barnacle Mist Crystals.

  

Mark Metcalf, the Head of Humor for Comic Wonder, began his career as a Shakespearian actor, and became famous for his portrayal of Doug Neidermeyer, the uptight, sadistic ROTC cadet in Animal House. He went on to a successful career directing and acting in TV and movies, including a role as “The Maestro,” in Seinfeld, a directing credit on the intriguingly-named Bikini Bar, and two Twisted Sister music videos as Neidermeyer.

When not touring the country in search of new jokes and joke-tellers, he lives in Wisconsin, where he is involved in the Milwaukee Film Festival and is co-owner of a bar (no word on whether it is frequented by priests, ministers, and rabbis). The Comic Wonder blog spoke to him about jokes, wishing he was recognized more often, and catching crumbs in his teeth.

Comic Wonder: How did you get to be “Head of Humor?” Does that mean you’re the funniest guy on the Comic Wonder staff?
Mark Metcalf: Yes, I am definitely the funniest person on the staff. But it’s pretty easy to get a laugh with a lisp and a limp. And some of my rope tricks aren’t really meant to be funny and I still don’t know why everyone laughs, but, oh well…

CW: What does it mean to be “touring the country in search of new joke-telling talent?” Are you hanging out in bars and asking people to tell you something funny?
MM: I do go to some bars, but mostly to use the restroom. Bars and train stations are where the really funny people are right now. And you can steal a joke from a drunk guy and he doesn’t even care.

CW: How many regional jokes do you run across in your travels? Do North Dakotans have a lot of jokes about how many South Dakotans it takes to screw in a light bulb?
MM: Usually it’s South Dakotans telling North Dakota jokes, but the North Dakotans don’t even get them, they just run around in circles, so it’s not so much fun.

CW: Do you worry that joke-telling is a lost art, or becoming more rare?

MM: The art of telling a joke, like the art of telling a story, is an art that has been losing ground. Forwarding a text joke to someone sort of seems like a cop-out, but that’s what joke telling has become on the internet. That’s why we’re on the quest to find the funniest joke-tellers. People can learn to tell a good joke with even a small amount of practice. We created Comic Wonder to serve as a stage and a resource to find material. Twice in the past week people have called me because they were going to parties where it was required that they bring three jokes to tell. One was a 55-year-old man, the other was a 12-year-old young woman. So maybe Comic Wonder is having an effect already.

CW: You trained as a Shakespearian actor, then went on to a role in Animal House, then ended up in Twisted Sister videos. How does something like that happen?

MM: I certainly hope I didn’t “end up” in Twisted Sister’s video. Basically my philosophy has always been, if someone offers you a job and you have time and it sounds like fun, take the job.

CW: Is that how you got the job at Comic Wonder?
MM: Jeff and Keller are friends of mine and they asked me to be their head of humor. With a title like that, I said yes before I even knew what it was about. My favorite line in Animal House is, “You fucked up. You trusted us.” Well, I trusted them. I didn’t even think of it as a job with pay, but they have been very nice about throwing some crumbs from their table at me. I catch them in my teeth and they clap.

CW: Among your acting credits, you were the “Maestro” on Seinfeld. Do you still get recognized on the street?
MM: I get recognized for the Maestro maybe a little more than for Neidermeyer. As long as the people don’t ask for money it’s not annoying at all. I like it. I maybe like it too much and miss it when I’m in a town where they could care less about Neidermeyer or the Maestro. My son tells people, if I seem a little down. He goes up to them and says, “My Dad was the Maestro and he’s a little depressed right now, could you go over and act like you recognized him and tell him how great he is?” My son is very nice to me and takes good care of me.

CW: Do you have a favorite kind of joke, or a philosophy when it comes to joke telling?
MM: I think a joke should not only tell a story but should also contain some social or political commentary. I think jokes that reveal a truth are the best ones. I am not allowed to tell jokes on the site because my jokes go on too long and burn up too many calories. But my son has a favorite joke that he told on the site. It has to do with a Giant Panda walking into a bar, ordering a sandwich and then shooting a piano player and leaving. It’s pretty funny.

CW: What does that one say about society? Pandas shouldn’t own guns?
MM: My son doesn’t give a hoot about society or politics, although he does know a few good George Bush jokes.