With this week’s ComicWonder of the Week win “Doctor, Doctor”, ReedBurns has cemented himself as a consistent high-quality contributer to the ComicWonder community.

His legend has grown now to the top of the hallowed halls of our archives. Along with a handful of others, we can not say ReedBurns is a true ComicWonder legend.

Coming in the next few months will be a special section on ComicWonder celebrating the “Legends of ComicWonder”. We will be taking a look at all the people past and present who have contributed either by telling jokes or being a great community member, and doing a little profile on them. Consider it an old style family barbeque, with horseshoes, lemonade and funny jokes… but without the hurt feelings after a family argument.

We’ll first be fielding suggestions via our forum for ComicWonder legends. Give us who you think and why. We’ll then be taking everything into consideration and making a very small selection for the first list. But that list will grow over time.Thanks again, and keep a look out for ComicWonder Legends in a few months!

Hello everyone, Kris here.

The month of May marks the end of our Bar Joke contest. From March 1st to April 31st, our members told over 400  bar jokes. Thank you everyone!

We went through and listened to every single bar joke told. It was a lot of fun. We narrowed it down to a top 10 list, and paneled several people to see which jokes were the funniest. There was one clear-cut winner:

VoiceofElk takes home first place with his joke “Something’s wrong in the wilderness”. VoE will take home a $200 check and another notch in his joke-telling belt.

Second place was not so easy. There were dozens of fantastic jokes from our usual suspects — Johnny Mac, 1anero, Funnybone, Foggy, and more who will probably be upset we didn’t mention them. And even some more from new members — Phlash and Brothersmalls. Thank you to everyone again.

However, it was Tilt who barely emerged as the triumphic second place winner with his joke “Go have a drink and talk to your bartender.” Tilt will receive our second place $100 check. Congrats to both guys!

So what’s next? Well, May 1st through June 31st will be our official Golf Joke contest. Got some great jokes for out on the links? Some great funny stories? Please practice up, and do share! We hope to make this next contest as successful as the previous two.

Thanks again, everyone!

Well, it’s that time again and we sent a representative of team Comic Wonder out to award the Comic Wonder of the Year trophy to the best joke-teller of 2008. This year’s winner is no other than 1anero, who hails from the windy city, which is where we caught up with him…

Kris presents the big trophy!

 

 

 (Trophy detail)

Discount Engraving Corp comes through again!  How do they keep their prices so low?!

 

 

The ‘Big Check’!

 

 

 

Eager to cash in on his Comic Wonder booty, 1anero heads to the ‘Big Check Cashing Store’

 

 

her: “We’ve never had a check this big before!”

1anero: “$2500 is a lot, but that’s the biggest you’ve ever gotten?”

 

 

I’d better get the manager

 

 

That’s the manager?

 

 

…Seriously? The guy with the eye patch manages the check cashing store?

That is the most appropriate thing I’ve ever heard of.

 

 

I’m pretty flush, so I guess I can wait around a while while they discuss how big my check is.

 

 

This guy is VERY impressed too.

impressed guy: “Who’s the comic?”

1anero: “me”

impressed guy: “You must be pretty funny with a check THAT big.”

1anero: “You have no idea”

 

 

Might as well endorse it while we’re waiting

 

 

Is this even going to fit in here?

 

 

 What!?? It’s just like cash! What are you talking about?

 

 

 There’s the door Comic Wonder!

 

 

Seriously bummed best joke-teller in the world.

 

 

This check isn’t even worth the massive amount of paper it’s printed on!

 

 

 This is the part of the story that I warned you about in the headline.

Comedy turns to rage as 1anero opens up a 55-gallon drum of Whoop A$$ on the messenger.

This is also the hard lesson that I talked about in the headline. Big checks aren’t real. They’re for photo ops, because people look really stupid shaking hands and holding a really tiny check. You cash the tiny check. I feel bad that I didn’t mention that to Kris before he left.

 

Who’s laughing now!

(answer: 1anero)

 

 So, we got these photos in the mail and nobody’s heard from 1anero since. If you happen to live in Chicago and see him, please drop us an email or call the authorities.

Incidentally, we’re hiring a new … whatever Kris did.

There are certain celebrities that can get away with just about anything and still keep their street cred.  Alec Baldwin is one of those stars who can turn lemons in to lemon spritzers.  2007 was a year Alec would soon like to forget.  His well-publicized battle with his ex-wife and daughter made news world-wide.  The threatening voicemail he left for his 12-year-old daughter became thing of legend.  Even Pat O’Brien was jealous how much poor judgement Alec could use on the phone.  The difference is that Alec has the seductive voice to pull it off.  Listening to his call sorta made me want to buy an expensive foreign car.  It was unintentional but his voice is just that commanding.

   2008 was another story for Alec, with 30 Rock skyrocketing and his first Emmy win.  It’s a brave new world for Alec where he will have his pick of roles and money to burn. You can deny that Alec is a “great actor” but you can’t deny his vocal chords are made of spun gold.  PURE, Rumpelstiltskin spun gold!  How good is he?  He was able to take a script of ordinary plumbing references and cause massive eargasms around the world for his performance in the Liquid Plumber Foaming Pipe Snake commercial(A reason not to fast forward through commercial breaks!).  Few people on this earth have enough presence to command total awe over something so gross.  He had me daydreaming about riding on the back of the mystical foaming pipe snake as we whirled around my plugged up toilet bowl.  Alec Baldwin is that good.

   Because Alec was able to make Liquid Plumber “hip” (essentially a fluid based turd-buster) I wonder if other advertisers will take those hard to market items and utilize other fascinating celebrities.  Christopher Walken could surely make Cream of Wheat sexy?  I could probably be convinced that I needed a new cheese shredder if Clint Howard said so.  Especially if his brother directed the commercial!  It terrifies me to think of what most of us wouldn’t do for a David Archuleta endorsed ziplock bag?

First, mood music. (http://www.miditrax.com/xmasmidi/AuldLangSyne2.mid).  Nothing can strike up emotion and make the hairs stand up on the back of your back quite like a MIDI version of Auld Land Syne.  Every wonder what that song is that we sing each New Years Eve?  Auld Lang Syne translates in to “old long since.”  That pretty much sums it all up, eh?  OLD LONG SINCE!

We at Comic Wonder are sorry to break the news that our beloved song is actually lost in translation.  Sure, we can assume it’s intended to say something like “the good old days” but the sad fact is that it doesn’t.  

None the less, New Years Eve has passed and we at Comic Wonder want to thank you for an amazing year!  Truly!  So many of you have delighted us with big laughs.  A couple of you have really let us down and should be ashamed of yourselves.  Put some pants on for crying out loud.  I’m sure that applied at least a dozen or so of you.

Johnny Mac may or may not have pants on right now but he has a pass either way because he’s once again got us chuckling with his rendition of “20 year reunion.”  He will be our last Comic Wonder of the Week for 2008 and forge new paths for the year to come.

We have SO many new things in store for Comic Wonder in 2009 and we can’t wait to roll out the new features.  In a time of financial crisis, mortgage meltdowns, massive lay-offs and investment scandals, we at Comic Wonder want to wish you a very Happy New Year!  We hope to toast to you all in our awesome Comic Wonder community every New Year and raise a glass of champagne and sing “old long since.”

Posted by:

Terry Aki, Comic Wonder season help and author of “7 steps that will change your staircase forever.”

‘Twas the night before a non denominational winter holiday, when all through Comic Wonder, spiked eggnog was flowing and the laughter crashed like thunder.

A stocking full of joke submissions was being reviewed with care, in hopes that a weekly winner would be found in there. Many contained references about the man dressed in red, some about Jesus and his visitors who were now dead. No one was in a ‘kerchief or even a cap, our intern had too much nog and threw up in his lap. (His shoes had barf on them too.)

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, we rushed to the window and tried not to slip on the interns stomach batter.

The room was buzzing with our holiday bash, then the intern puked on the shutters and slurred “I had too much corn beef hash!”

We saw the moon on the breast of the new fallen-snow, the intern stumbled in the to yard and…well…you know. When what to our wondrous eyes should appear? An angry-looking police man confiscating the grain beer.

With a little old tazer, a gun and night stick, I knew in a moment he’d witness the intern get sick. We decided to put the intern to bed, “Papas fritas are french fries” was the last thing he said.

The Cops asked us to keep the noise down or we would go to jail. “Also, put than intern on his side and by his head, put a pail.”

Back to the party and the drinking of booze, the office gift was revealed to be a ball game called “foose.” We cheered the night away, celebrating a great year, and knowing that our Comic Wonder of the Week announcement was near.

All had a favorite, many had 3. The intern picked one but he was now passed out covered in pee. The punch was all gone and the cookies were now soggy, but one last toast was made and was directed at “Foggy.” His joke “Poor foggy at Christmas” was a big hit, when the whole party chuckled at the punchline we knew “that’s it!”

Congratulations to this weeks winner and to all of you, please excuse our intern and the repeated references of spew.

We truly do wish all of our Comic Wonder friends the very best this holiday, and if you have an intern at your office party keep the the beer away.

Merry non denominational winter holiday!

Posted by:

Chuck Upin

Comic Wonder Holiday Party Co-Chair & Author of “Calligraphy: urine writing in the snow edition”

Hello Comic Wonders!

A year full of great jokes is coming to an end and it’s time to Crown the 2008 Comic Wonder of the Year.

…but before we do that, I want to thank everyone that has helped Comic Wonder grow over the last year. We have served well over ONE MILLION jokes and the new ones keep coming (and keep getting better.) Thank you for listening and thank you for your jokes!

Drum roll please…The 2008 Comic Wonder of the Year is 1anero!

1anero will take home $2,500 in cash, a fairly obnoxious trophy and the title of Comic Wonder of the Year!

His performance “The African Safari” narrowly beat out the other 11 finalists. The judges were very impressed with his character voices, story details and comedic timing. Simply put, his ability to take a joke, bring it to life and make us wet our pants (just a little bit) put him over the edge.

This was a difficult call for us. Funnybone’s originality was hard to ignore. KFC’s smooth joke telling got him some big points. RancheroMan was our runner-up and almost beat out 1anero because of his story telling ability. Skez63 got a good laugh out of the judges. REC didn’t disappoint with his punchline. Benroach90’s voice acting made him one of my personal favorites. Sam Greenfield won our 2008 Radio’s Comic Wonder contest among radio personalities in the United States last summer, and the joke speaks for itself. VoiceofElk has been our most prolific joke teller lately and is one of the staff’s favorites lately. (We used many of his jokes over Thanksgiving!) And Apavlon won our 2008 Political Joke of the Year contest with his insightful look into government contractors.

In the end all were worthy of consideration, but 1anero emerged as the winner. His body of work shows how talented and consistently good he is at telling a great joke.

We will have an official word from him soon (Maybe we can talk him into giving an acceptance speech, so keep an eye out for that!)

So what is on the horizon for Comic Wonder?

We are now hard at work planning the details for the 2009 Comic Wonder of the Year contest and we’re happy to announce that it will be getting bigger and better.

In addition to the annual title, we will be offering prizes for specialized themed contests and teaming up with a great charity to donate some money to a good cause.

We will also be introducing a community forum allowing you to create custom groups around your favorite funny stuff.

And as for you filmmakers, we’ve got some fun challenges specifically for you too!

This has been a great year and we really appreciate all of your involvement and are really looking forward to 2009.

This week’s feature member is presently the third funniest person on Comic Wonder. At least according to our Sense of Humor Index, a rating system that rewards those who tell funny jokes, find funny jokes before everyone else, are positive members in the community, and win stuff.

Yes, Skez63 is truly funny. He has the hardware to prove it to. Hailing from Indiana, his midwestern drawl is a trademark on his winning performances. He’s pulled in Comic Wonder of the Week nods four times:

• “Breakfast at the White House” on July 21st, 2008
• “Foreskins and matzo balls” on July 7th, 2008
• “No Monkeys Allowed” on May 19th, 2008
• “Gator Shoes” on Cinco de Mayo, 2008

His most famous joke is “No Monkeys Allowed” which received Comic Wonder of the Month honors for May, and is in the running for the Comic Wonder of the Year announced in December.

Skez is one of our best community members, and it shows. He has started this trend of putting “(JL)” in his joke titles for any jokes he rescues from Joke Limbo. By our count, his is our most prolific missionary. Both Skez and Comic Wonder invite you to start tagging your jokes with (JL) in both your joke title or your joke tags.

So thank you Skez for giving us some of our best jokes (and best voices of drunk people and blondes!), and being our finest missionary saving jokes from Joke Limbo Comic Wonder has ever had!

Twice a month, Comic Wonder will bring you some Featured Members commentary. Our goal for the feature is to give some inside information on those members who deserve to be broadcast to the community.

This week’s featured member gives us two guys from our neighbors to the north, Canada. Canucklehead and FOGGY are two members who have been active on Comic Wonder since the start. Well, we’re pretty sure Canucklehead is from Canada with a name like that! FOGGY has some fantastic jokes with Canadians as the punchlines, so it was natural to assume we could include him in this award.

We chose these two guys because we wanted to give a big thanks to our very large Canadian contingent on the site. Who would have thought Canadians would love jokes as much as Comic Wonder does? Well, we’re glad to have them and some of our best joke tellers hail from “up nort.”

These guys are both winners. Canucklehead most recently won Comic Wonder of the Week on February 28th, 2008, with the joke “Oh Canada!” FOGGY’s follow up five weeks later was “FIRST DATES”.

Canucklehead has exactly 50 jokes on Comic Wonder, and although “Oh Canada!” is hilarious, our favorite is “Oh No Ewe Didn’t!” — Short, simple, and hilarious.

FOGGY has some classics in his arsenal, but our favorite is “PRESIDENTS AND PRIME MINISTERS”, which includes his trademark laugh at the end. And what great timing with the American election coming up!

So we’d like to give a big ol’ American salute to our Canadian friends, and any other Comic Wonder member who greets us from above the northern border. If you happen to be a Comic Wonder member and from Canada, please leave a comment with your username so we, and everyone else, can know and thank you!

Thanks again, Team Canada!

Howdy Comic Wonders!

Have you heard the one about the elderly couple on a porch swing? You should because it’s the gem that won VoiceofElk his second weekly prize in a row!

Last week he treated us all to a real puker. This time around he’s mixing it up with a couple senior citizens and a good old porch swing. What could possibly go wrong? Nothing sweeter than an older couple in love. Maybe an older couple of puppies in love would be cuter but that’s technically impossible. That’s why stem cell research is so important.

In the meantime we salute VoiceofElk for his continued joke telling excellence. Several of you gave him a run for his money this week and we’d like to acknowledge all of you. I know you can’t see if but we are all standing around the office saluting you. I just did a thumbs up. Tilt brought some festive heat with “The Cabbie and the Nun.” Cool Breeze stepped up with “A One Iron can come in Handy.” Adubya also made us chuckle with “A blonde buys 2 horses.” Great jokes and always confident performances.

Check out Joke Limbo for some great jokes that need a voice.

If you read the paper you know that an election is coming up. Comic Wonder is also regionally famous for being the Election Joke Epicenter of the Known World. Maybe you have an ace in the hole? Get on the horn and let the world know how funny you are. Especially that jerk in high school who said you would never win a joke telling contest at Comic Wonder.

Posted by:

Robin Banks
Comic Wonder Financial Contributor and Author of “Idiots guide to Off Shore Accounts”