I’m taking a break from working out to award “benroach90” as the Comic Wonder of the Week. His joke “MD Penis Theft” was a hit at the gym where I work out. 7 days a week.

In addition to the cash prize and fame that comes with being this week’s winner, Benro (I don’t have time to write out his full name - although I realize that typing out this disclaimer probably took up more time) is also in the running to become Comic Wonder of the Year! Think of the fame that comes with a title like that!

It’s like when I won the Southern Regional Intermediate Peck Deck Power lifting title at Shrugfest 97′. I couldn’t walk into a supplement store without some tight shirted employee falling all over themselves to get my technique tips. I haven’t paid for my stretch mark body butter ever since. Just helping you to understand what winning the Comic Wonder title could be like.

Keep the jokes coming and remember to stay hydrated. I don’t want any of you cramping up during a punch line.

Hughe Mongis
Comic Wonder Fitness Consultant & author of “The spiritual guide to effective bar bouncing.”

Living in WI you can see your fare share of beer bellies - or…are they?

Check this out - the beerbelly - a device that looks like a true blue beer belly, when it’s actually a beer, well -you name it - dispenser. No kidding! This is perfect for taking beverages into your next ball game, roaming the mall with your wife, sitting in a boring class - wherever!

Here’s what the site says:

“Made up of an insulated neoprene sling and a polyurethane bladder connected to a drinking tube, the Beerbelly® holds over a half gallon of amber nectar and it will stay cold for hours with the optional freezer pack. Amazing, right? Okay, so you’ll look a little chubby when wearing it, but who gives a XXXX when you can stealth swig your favorite brew wherever you may roam.”

What does this have to do with joke-telling you might ask? Nothing - I just thought it was pretty sweet and wanted to share the good news.

My husband and I have zero will power, we always seem to find a later, better date to give up our vices, live healthier, and stay home more. But, I have to say, we have a hell of a time and a lot of fun.

This includes drinking - I will go out saying to myself that I’m going to behave and the next thing I know it’s my third glass of wine at the Redroom and we’re moving to Bayview for more. Maybe it’s that I surround myself with other people that have no will power and we are all evil bar flies. Maybe it’s because I love being in social settings, love heading out for a refreshing beverage, and love going out in Milwaukee - and so does my husband. Also, why is it that the nights you’re going out for “just one” always seem to be the most fun and leave you feeling the worst for work the next day?

Anyway, there is something to be said for sitting among friends and telling funny bar jokes, especially if you have a laid back bartender who has heard them all! Last week we swapped jokes with the bartender at the Plainfield Pub, in Milwaukee. Good times.

Some things to remember when telling a bar joke. First, keep it short - you may not know the number of consumed bevies (aka beverages) of your audience. Second, keep it simple. See the ‘keep it short’ for the same reasoning. Third, take into consideration who you’re telling and where you are. For instance, nothing good can come from telling a redneck joke at a Nascar bar! Or, you could be the hit of the place - who knows!

Here are some great ones to practice and tell while you’re warming a bar stool:

• 3 shots of whiskey
• Drinking Buddies
• Another Irish Joke

Click here for more great bar jokes.
Now hit your local bar and start telling some jokes - I promise, you’ll be the hit of the place!

I have a confession.  I read articles just for the comments. I wasn’t always this superficial, but alas this is the person I have become.

My mind boggles at the simple fact that millions of us find time each day to comment on some poor person’s post. Although the vast majority of comments fall into the simple”like it or lump it” variety, an occasional comment demonstrates the mark of inspired genius.  I live for that moment of discovery.  And evidently, I’m not alone.

For those of us addicted to funny comments, we spend countless hours on YouTube reading and commenting on the comments without ever watching the video.  When we find that brilliant comment, we celebrate the victory by quickly forwarding it to all our friends.

In that spirit, I must share. The following funny comment was posted on Craigslist last year.  The post was in response to a young woman’s (25) blatant attempt to find her sugar daddy. The fact that someone took the time to pen such a perfect e-epistle gives me hope for humanity.

So, without any further ado, here is: “What am I doing wrong?”

While many college students are currently in the throws of March Madness (click here to see a funny video of two guys filling out their brackets for this year) and are joined together screaming at the TV, other times they actually are hard at work studying and *occasionally* taking a break and going online. Things have definitely changed since I started college eleven years ago, I don’t remember any sites like this, which - is probably a good thing. Actually - I didn’t even have a computer, so there you go.

Here are the major sites I found that college kids are active on - all have jokes, videos, pictures and a lot of college followers.  After reading the comments and videos - let’s hope some of these kids never want to become president!

• College Humor
• College Clown
• College Slackers
• Points in Case

If you’re in college and not active on these you better get going, it seems to be the thing to do.  Oh…to be in college again and get to lay around your dorm room, mess around online, drink cheap beer and eat crappy food. What a life!