Whoa, Whoa, Whoa… accusations have been flying ever since Rudy’s Bar & Grill burned down, and I think it is totally unfair to put ALL of the blame on my shoulders.  Sure, a couple drunken college students may have seen me strike the match, but that’s blurry at best, and also, there is a lot more to fire than a spark.

As Billy Joel sang, ironically as stage caught on fire Thursday night, “We didn’t start the fire, it was always burning since the world’s been turning” it wasn’t one person’s fault, you know? Now I’ll admit I did start the fire, the physical fire per say, but Rudy made a lot of enemies when he revoked the unlimited wings night. I mean, that was a tradition for all of us hard working “Joes” and “Janes” but no, one little bump in the road for the economy and he goes back to the ridiculous price of 39 cents per wing. More than one person had blood on their minds.

And who put gasoline all over the floor, hmm? Who? I mean, the fire would never have spread so far if it wasn’t for all that gas. Maybe Rudy did it himself, ever think of that? And I’ve heard the assertions that someone saw my brother Tim spreading “some clear liquid” on the floor during the karaoke portion of night, but that’s simply hearsay.

Sure, Timmy works at the Mobil Station on 3^rd Avenue, but that doesn’t add up to anything. And even if the police can conger up some witness who saw him take a gas can out of the trunk of his Camry, that doesn’t equal a fire. There’s more to fire than gas and matches.

Oh, and Bud Light pitchers go from 10 dollars to 12 dollars, YEAH OK… why not cut my arm off and ask me to chop down a Christmas tree. Rudy knew I had just lost my job, and he comes up to me and the boys like it’s no big deal.

Also, what happened to the sprinkler system? Ever think about that? The whole mess could have been cleared up if Rudy hadn’t skipped out on much needed maintenance. How’d your penny pinching work out on that one Rudy? You cheap bastard. And don’t even dare bring up the fact that I used to install sprinkler systems, I just lost that job remember? I barely remember how those things work… the nerve of you people.