By Meatloaf

This is to all the women out there that have listened to my song “Bat Out of Hell” and now think of me differently.  I just want to say to all of you that I’m the same guy.  Same guy here, okay.  In my song I make myself out to be this crazy wild guy that just wants sex and stuff.  I’m not really like that.  I’m not.  I’m a good guy.  Really.  I’m the same guy that “would do anything for love.” Remember that?  That was me.

I used something called an artistic license.  It’s poetry.  I exaggerate certain things to make them more appealing and sound better and more badass and stuff.  I’ve never “hit the highway like a battering ram.”  Never. Oh and on a “silver black phantom bike” for that matter.  Come on.  Nobody has a silver black phantom bike, but it sounds fuckin’ sweet right?

Look, last time I tried talking to a woman you know what she said?  She called me a, “Sinner before the gates of heaven” and then ran away screaming, “Bat out of hell! Bat out of hell!”  I mean Jesus, come on!  Cut me some slack here.  Everybody was like, looking at me and stuff.  It was really embarrassing.

I’m a big teddy bear.  Just look at me.  It’s me.  Meat.  Everyone’s favorite Loaf.  And I need affection too.   I need someone to take the words right out of my mouth.  Take them.  They’re yours.  I’ve giving them to you.  Okay?  So we’re good?  Everything cool?  Look I just really want to have sex.  Please?