I’m writing to you because you have a familymember or friend buried within our haloed grounds. We here at Carlwood honorand respect your difficult lose.

However, times change, and we have decided toshift some things around.Let’s not kid ourselves; single graves are a hugewaste of space. Not to mention a hell of an eye sore.

Our plan is to transport all of the remains fromthe thousands of individual plots into one large grave, upon which we willplace a shit load of soil.

This will save space and time. And that savingswill be passed onto you. Now, some people, especially the elderly membersof our board of directors, have voiced concern over this proposition. They claimthis would be a “crime against God” and would “draw comparisons to mass gravesfrom various genocides.

”But I think you’ll agree they are just beingdramatic. I think we can also all give up this charade about people havingsouls. I mean come on. A misty mass which embodies your essence andmind and goes to up to heaven and such. Jesus, let it go. It’s 2008 for“God’s” sake. Grow up.

Aunt Julie or Grandma Mary are just decomposingcorpses. Flesh and bone. Headstones and flowers are just delusional. One biggrave, covered in nice Kentucky Blue Grass will make a beautiful picnic spot,replacing our old gloomy graveyard. So, please respond with a Yes or No onProposition 1 asap.

– Harry Larson