In preparation for her October 2nd debate with Joe Biden, Sarah Palin is spending the week leading up to it meeting with nine foreign leaders to help her brush up on her foreign policy credentials. Nine foreign leaders … and Bono.

This, of course, begs the question: is this the first time Bono has met with a prospective world leader he’s more qualified than? To find out, I’d like to play a little game I like to call “Palin Vs. Bono: Who’s more qualified?” Let’s play!

Nicknames:

“Sarah Barracuda” vs. (I guess) “Bono”

Right off the bat, Bono is in trouble. A barracuda is not only a fierce predatory fish, but also a kick-ass Heart song. And “Bono”? It’s basically nonsense and he made it up himself. Point: Palin.

Awards:

“Miss Wasilla and second runner-up to Miss Alaska (1984)” vs. “22 Grammys and a Golden Globe (lifetime)”

Beauty pageants can be tough. But all Sarah Palin proved was that she was the hottest woman in a town of 7,000 and then the third hottest woman in a state of only 600,000 people in 1984, an historically ugly year and an historically ugly state. Meanwhile, Bono has proven 22 times over that he deserves the highest acclaim in the music industry. Have you ever tried to win a Grammy? It’s hard! Point: Bono.

Fashion Eyewear:

“Sexy Librarian Glasses” vs. “Sunglasses Indoors”

I have a strange suspicion that Sarah Palin’s glasses do not have corrective lenses. They’re like those fake glasses Clark Kent wore but she wears them to look smart not to hide her secret identity. Not a fan of sunglasses indoors, but he’s fucking Bono, man. Point: Bono

NRA membership:

“Yes” vs. “No”

Point: Palin.

Trips to Africa:

“None” vs. “A shitload”

Point: Bono.

There you have it. By a score of 3-2, it looks like Bono is more qualified than Sarah Palin to be a vice presidential candidate on a major party ticket. And I just successfully vetted both these candidates more thoroughly than the McCain campaign did.