I’m sometimes a little hesitant to make fun of broken English because doing so is terribly hypocritical; after all, I only speak some broken Hebrew and a few phrases in Arabic, like Itbakh al-Yahud! (Slaughter the Jews!) and Umi fi-shook (My mother’s at the market). Hypocrite or not, few English-as-a-second-language speakers mangle our language as delightfully and creatively as the Chinese and Japanese. With the Olympics coming to Beijing, it’s time to check in and see if the Chinese are well-prepared for the throngs of English speakers that will soon crowd their fine capital city.

Huh?

 This one is sort of PC, but not. They have the “special” part down.

Yes, don’t be rude; please die somewhere else. And make sure ahead of time that somebody will dispose of your corpse.

 Even if there’s Sucker fish in the water—just don’t do it!

  I think I’ll hold it and wait to use a different restroom.

Fun-having violators will be arrested and sent to reeducation camp!I, too, hate it when people hit me with spittle as they talk to me. I’m glad to see the Chinese are at the forefront of putting a stop to this!