Every morning I wake up and do a fast scan of my inbox for the proverbial “Oh #$%@!S” You can insert your explicative of choice here. For me, the S word ranks high on the list, closely followed by a slew of other choice words that would make a sailor blush.

After lots of failure and regrouping over the years, the one lesson I have learned better than most is that managing success is easy. The true test of leadership is how well you manage the “Oh #$%@!S”

I would love to say I am the Jedi Master of “Oh #$%@!S” — but alas, up until very recently, I have sucked at it. An unhappy email from an employee, vendor, random family member would send me down a very unproductive trail of self-checks, followed by self-loathing because… yes, usually it is my fault.

I hale from that fine class of entrepreneurs who have clinically diagnosed ADHD. Since childhood, neighbors have quietly thanked their lucky stars that we weren’t their problem… unless we meandered into their yards and ate all their tulips. (Sorry about that Mrs. P.) The upside is that we have a ton of energy and drive; the downside is that we typically move too fast and make more than our fair share of mistakes.

Today, I started the day with not one but two “Oh #$%!S.”  As I started my standard self-check process, I realized that yes (surprise, surprise) they were my fault. However, I then noticed something miraculous. No angst followed! I apologized to the people my mistakes impacted, noted what I would do differently to prevent it in the future, and I MOVED ON!

This may sound so obvious. But for me, this was a revelation. I have been working on “moving on” for no less than five years. Over the last half decade, I have spent a great deal of time in active coaching and leadership training trying to deal with this particular issue. To be able to accept my mistakes and not waste time beating myself up about them was a major milestone.

I used to think the self-flagellation would make me a stronger leader. The sad fact is that it weakened me. My fear of failure would kick in and I would spiral into an eddy of worry and needless anxiety.

How was I supposed to lead others when I was too busy beating myself up for something truly inconsequential?

So, enough said already. I have learned my lesson. It’s time to move on!